it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
vagina is talking i cant
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
