we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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