I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
