those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
