If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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