I could have mohawked her pubes.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize