It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
