How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize