I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
