While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
