you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
