hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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