There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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