Will you blow on my dice?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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