I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize