I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
