She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I lost the right to judge tonight
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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