Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
