He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
