dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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