The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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