Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize