do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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