my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
