1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize