Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
