Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
