he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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