Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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