Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
