1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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