when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize