don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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