You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
