I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
