I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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