R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
