I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
