i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
