Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
