Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just want nice things and good sex
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
