He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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