babies were throwing up all over the place
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
