i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
