He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize