ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
