Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
