you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
