Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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