Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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