Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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