if you like me you must not know who I am
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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