I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
