He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
No stitches, just platelets and will power
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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