Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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