Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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