Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
