At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
