What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
