just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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