You made me cry and you don't even care
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
