Well douche your snatch and let's go!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
