I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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