hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
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