Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
