you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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