His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
