we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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