You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
