That's intense
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
how drunk are you?
Several
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize