im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
tell me about the eggs
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
